HORNEYTOPIA™

Welcome to my blog! I write about sex and relationships from my perspective as a regular woman. Leave a comment, I love them! If you have any questions, requests, or if you'd like to be a guest blogger, then contact me on Twitter (@yogachikk)!

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Sometimes sex just sucks!

So, is there such a thing as bad sex?  I have heard the saying that any sex is good sex, but I don't believe it.  Sometimes, sex just sucks.

I have had great sex, okay sex, and down right awful sex....what was the difference, what made me perceive one as great and the other as awful?  Well, I'll tell you!

What I consider great sex wasn't based on penis size, or how many moves he had.  Great sex from me, was when I was in love and felt a connection to my partner.  Great sex came with the comfort to share fantasies, to laugh at ourselves and sometimes each other when there were those inevitable "blunders".   Great sex was knowing my boundaries were respected.  Great sex came with great communication.

Okay sex, is with someone you care about.  Maybe, you don't feel comfortable sharing your desires and fantasies, but you can move a hand here, or guide a rhythm there.  It's okay, but without good communication, respect and trust...it's never going to be great. 

Awful sex is when you feel like you are being treated as nothing more than a cum dump.  I consider some of my worst sexual experiences to be when there was no emotional connection (one night stands, I'm talking about YOU!)  I would also say my worst sexual experiences were when I didn't feel respected.  There is nothing worse than saying to a partner "No, I'm really not into that" only to have them try to make you feel guilty, or worse bully you into a situation you aren't comfortable with. 

Awful sex is when you don't feel like you can communicate what you want and need your partner.  Awful sex is when you are being used as a stand in for someone else (girls don't fuck your guy buddy, just because your boyfriend dumped you, guys can feel used too!) Awful sex is when you are treated like a pussy or cock without the rest of the person attached. 

Honestly, I'd rather be celibate than have awful sex.  I'd rather wake up alone than wake up with regret.  Just remember that how a person treats you before they get you into bed will be how they treat you IN bed...so if you don't feel comfortable, if you don't feel valued and respected then you have ever right to say "Thanks, but no thanks!" and guys...this goes for you too!!  Just because you have a cock doesn't mean you have to stick it into any willing female.

So, the next time you go to have sex...ask yourself if you'll regret it in the morning. If you think the answer is yes, then wait.  Either let the relationship develop or move on, but don't have bad sex when you can be having GREAT sex with the right partner.

Thanks for www.pinktoybox.tumblr.com for the pics!

My decision.

I have had so much positive feedback since I became disenchanted with writing my blog that I have decided to do 2 things.

1.  I will not delete the blog, I will leave it up. :)
2.  I will continue to post to it, but only when I feel truly inspired to write something and not out of feeling like it's "expected" of me.

The blog had become a burden, and because of that...it had stopped being fun for me.  I think I needed some perspective and to actually hear what my readers thought about my blog. I appreciated all the feedback, and the donations that came in from people that enjoy and support my blog.  It was your actions and comments that truly changed my mind.

I would like to remind you that because this is an adult content blog I can't monetize with sponsors or advertisers, so donations are always welcome...and they make me smile :) Your comments continue to make my day as well. 

Hopefully, I can continue to help people have better sex and better relationships for a long time.  Thank you again for everything. HUGS!! YC

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Decisions.

I've been writing this blog now for several years and I am almost at a MILLION views.  However, I am considering shutting it all down. Here's why....

1.  It takes up a lot of my time.  Coming up with a topic, writing the blog, finding the pictures...it takes time.  Sometimes, I do research, sometimes I talk to friends about topics to get their input.  The point is, each blog post requires more of my time than a lot of people realize.

2.  I make NO money on my blog.  I can't monetize an adult blog...so guess what, it makes me absolutely no money.  I put up a donation button, but I can literally count on one hand the people that have donated.  Btw, to the people that donated, you know who you are, I am grateful and if the blog stays or goes, you can always message me! :)

So, I'm deciding what to do with the blog....I want to make a decision that I won't regret. I'm just really frustrated by what appears to be a lack of appreciation.  I have tried to help people have better sex lives, and I hope you've enjoyed reading it, but maybe it's time for me to move on and put my time and energy into other avenues.

Sincerely,
YC

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Big clits!

So, do you think a big clit is a turn on...or turn off?  I will say that I think a big clit can be a lot of fun!  Here are a few of the best I've found.  Now, I don't know about you, but I'd definitely say these are a turn ON ;)




thanks to www.bigclits.tumblr.com for the pics

How to make a woman fall in love with you...

I was asked the other day, how to make a woman fall in love with you....and honestly, I had to give it some thought.  I have been in love, but what exactly was it that made me FALL in love, I hadn't ever really pondered that question before.  So, this is what I came up with.

1.  Treat me with respect.  Every time I've been in love, the relationship started and was built on mutual respect.  He respected my limits, my boundaries, and my decisions...and I respected his. 

2.  Laugh with me.  Humor is very endearing and everyone likes to be around someone that makes them laugh.  Have a sense of humor, laugh at yourself, and don't take stuff too seriously.

3.  Be sweet.  Seriously guys..BE SWEET.  There is nothing worse (and the biggest turn off ) than a guy that acts like you should be kissing his ass because he's with you.  Be kind, be sweet, give sincere compliments.  If you want a woman to fall in love with you, you have to build an emotional bond, not just a physical one.

4.  Listen.  Actively listen to what she is saying.  Don't just nod your head and randomly agree.  If you want a woman to fall in love, take an interest in her life and in what she is saying to you.  You want to feel heard when you speak...so does she.

5. Touch without desire.  I mean that not all touching has to lead to sex.  Hold her hand, rub her back, put your arm around her.  Touch her often, and without any expectation of sex.  You earn extra points for touching her face, her hair and kissing her forehead.

6. Remember your manners.  Hold the door for her, pull out her chair, offer your hand when she's getting out of a car....be a GENTLEMAN.  Manners are on such a decline now days that it's a great way to stand out from the crowd. 

7.  Be her rock.  If you say you'll do something..do it.  If you make a promise...keep it.  Be someone she can count on.  Be someone she can believe in, someone she can trust.

8.  Protect her.  Take her side, stand up for her.  If you love her, then this should be easy for you...if it's not, then you don't.

9. Express yourself.  Women are born communicators, so that "I don't like to express my feelings" crap is not going to win her over.  Tell her you love her, tell her you can't live without her, tell her she is your world.  Women need to hear it, even if they know it.  So say it, and say it often!

10.  Cuddle, whisper, kiss softly.  Yes, you can fuck like wild beasts, but when it's over...cuddle.  Remind her that you love her, tell her how beautiful she looks freshly fucked, remember that sex isn't just about the orgasm, it's also about building and maintaining your bond.

I hope that this makes it a little easier to get the woman of your dreams, all you have to do is just be the man of hers.
s-exotic:

yees
thanks to www.eroticpics.tumblr.com for the gif

Friday, June 27, 2014

How do you masturbate?

So, I was asked the other day how I masturbate....do I use just my fingers, or do I use a toy?  Do I penetrate my pussy or just stay on my clit? Do I masturbate myself anally?  Since inquiring minds want to know, I thought I'd share!

First, I use either/both depending on my mood.  If I use my fingers, it might take me a bit longer to cum, and I use this when I want to build up my orgasm and not have it over too quickly.  I use my vibrator when I want a fast, intense orgasm.  When I really want a hard, satisfying, possibly squirting orgasm then I will put a vibrator in my pussy and finger my clit at the same time.  As for masturbating myself anally, no...I don't.  Not that there is anything wrong with that if you do, it's just not my preference, and honestly...I'd never really even thought about it! So, as you can see, there is no right or wrong way to do it.

When I masturbate with just my fingers...it is usually all clit action.  A vibrator's buzzing can be so intense that sometimes it can cause a "numbing" effect on the clit, so when that happens it's best to take it away from the clit and fuck myself with it for several minutes then go back to my clit. 

I know that when I'm masturbating for my partner, I usually will massage my clit and finger my hole, because guys enjoying seeing a pussy sucking in a finger like it's going to suck in their cock, and who doesn't like watching a clit grow into a pink, plump hard little nub?!

When it comes to masturbating, there is no right or wrong way..it's whatever feels best to you.  If you want to know how to get your partner to cum, ask them if you can watch them masturbate.  It will give you a great idea of the speed, rhythm, and intensity they enjoy most. 

Now, what I think about when I'm masturbating...that is a whole other blog post ;) 
Thanks to www.pinktoybox.tumblr.com for the gifs/pics

yankmanccuck:

Slutwife showing off her ring and her favourite toy

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Why is cleavage so sexy?!

What is so sexy about cleavage?  Is it the fact that you are just getting a peek at her creamy mounds?  Is it knowing that just a bit out of view are rosy nipples and tan areolas? 

I'm not going to lie, I am a woman that has used my cleavage to my advantage ever since I realized the power of breasts!  If I was going to the club dancing, if I was going on a first date, if I was going on a 3rd date...the cleavage never let me down.  It drew men in closer, made them hold me tighter, and stare a little longer.

Cleavage is nothing to be ashamed of, embrace your sexuality and femininity....enjoy being a woman!  I know there are women that prefer the modesty of covering up their cleavage, and that is a personal choice that I can respect.  However, I have never been a woman that felt that was necessary. 

I think showing some cleavage is no different than showing off your legs in a mini skirt.  There was a time when just showing our ankles was considered risqué, but that time is well past.  The female body is beautiful with all of it's curves, and softness...and it is in direct contrast to the angles and hardness of men.  No wonder they are fascinated with our cleavage, and with us!! 

Part of the mesmerizing appeal of cleavage is the fact that it's a body part that is both utilitarian and sexual.  Breasts have a purpose, to feed babies...however, they are also a sexual erogenous zone that brings pleasure to both partners.  Allowing a man to suckle your nipples can be incredibly intimate, bonding and very arousing.  It's really no wonder a hint of cleavage can stop a man in  his tracks!

So, buy that push up bra, or that V-neck blouse...don't be afraid to show a little cleavage and let yourself enjoy the appreciative glances.  You are a woman, and your breasts don't define you, but they sure do add to your allure!
Thanks to http://cogoddess.tumblr.com/archive for the amazing pics!