This is the first submission by Guest Blogger @secret10in about his most amazing sexual experience! Share yours with me as well and I'll post it on my blog for everyone to enjoy! If you have a story you'd like to submit to me then email it to secretsquirrel201037@yahoo.com . I hope you enjoy this story as much as I did!
I arrive home early, the child is staying with her parents and we have the house to ourselves tonight. We have hinted at our plans all week, using the code words and phrases that couples develop after being together for years. I’ve been sending naughty text messages and pictures of myself all day, telling her how much I want her, need her. Making sure her mind is on the dirty things that I am going to do to her when she comes home.
I shower and shave, groom myself so I am smooth, clean, and smell good. I slide on the silicone cock ring we like to use sometimes and admire the massive veined erection and my wet nude body in the mirror. Playing with myself, I text her as I wait for her to come home. She arrives through the garage and I hear her place her keys on the kitchen table, dropping her purse and things. I wait patiently as she comes down the hall and stand before she reaches the bedroom. She enters and we lock eyes, a smirk on my face as my fierce blue eyed glare bores into her. She runs her eyes over my naked body and I can tell she wasn’t sure if I was serious with my lecherous talk all day. She should have known better.
Before she can speak I swiftly move to her and wrap my arms around her as we begin to kiss. Her tongue inside my mouth lets me know she is as eager as I am. Quickly I tear off her clothes, getting a bit hung up and not doing this as smoothly as I had planned. She laughs and I giggle a bit as I struggle with the last of her garments. This doesn’t ruin our mood, we are comfortable and can have fun at our own expense.
She falls to her knees and I tower above her, she runs her hands over my thighs and stomach before cradling my testicles in her palms. Staring at me, this doe-eyed goddess looks into my soul as she extends her pink tongue and carefully wraps her full lips around the head of my manhood. Gradually she proceeds to devour me, her hands squeezing and running up and down the shaft as if she were trying to stuff more and more of me into her willing mouth and throat. Periodically she pauses to catch her breath and lick and kiss down the sides of my tool, as well as lick and suck my hanging sack. After a few minutes of this she sits down, arches her back and holds onto her feet or ankles. She knows what I really want, and I know that she is willing to submit, she wants me to take control of her, to dominate her.
Seated on her knees beneath my 6’3” frame she appears so tiny. I step closer and tower above her, grasping her head in my large hands and rubbing my balls on her face. I push one in, attempt to squeeze the second into her open mouth, and then proceed to lightly slap her with my throbbing cock. I push down my erection into her upturned face and begin to fuck her mouth and throat. Her lips are stretched and her nostrils flare as she makes labored breaths through her nose. As we gaze at each other, I satisfy myself, plunging into her, controlling her. I know she can’t consume all of me, but it’s the trying that I love.
I can tell she’s at her limit and I relent. Before she can recover I pick her up and set her on the bed, grabbing her behind the knees and forcing her onto her back. I kiss her thighs and progress towards her waiting womanhood. I take a deep breath through my nose, smelling her arousal, and release it by blowing on her lady parts. She protests and I laugh, the goosebumps standing out on her flesh. She struggles and tries to move away, but I hold her firm. My kisses get closer as I tease her, my tongue tracing outlines, and then folds, as I make the lightest touch. I lap at her with the flat of my tongue, careful to apply very little pressure, and returning to kisses and nibbles at her inner thighs occasionally. I make it clear that I am in no rush, deliberately proceeding as slow as possible, knowing that the anticipation will drive her crazy. Beginning to explore inside her with the tip of my tongue, I trace the dimensions of her opening, like I am memorizing her by touch, before I start to extend deeper and carefully becoming more forceful with my penetration. When I know she wants and needs more, I finally release her and allow her legs to settle about my shoulders. This also frees my hands as I insert a finger into her now more than willing snatch. First one, then two, finally three fingers as I begin to open her to me. My mouth is aiding and teasing her precious nub, but not touching it directly. Her hands in my hair, pulling at my head tell me she wants more, but I hold off for a moment, prolonging the sweet agony. I turn my hand over and find the small rough patch inside her that I know is so sensitive. I lick and swirl my tongue around her clitclit back into me and slowly build up the actions that just brought her to climax, my timing allows me to easily plunge her into ecstasy a second time.
Allowing her to recover I lie down on the bed and take a sip of water, she flees to the bathroom to do… I don’t know… some woman stuff. She soon returns and lies beside me, as we embrace I roll on top, her legs spread wide. I pin her under my 210 pound body, her heels grip behind my knees as I enter her. I penetrate slowly, allowing her to accommodate, forcing slightly more into her with each shallow stroke, my back arched and our heads touching as we watch my swollen and engorged member sink deeper and deeper into her body. Mostly inside her I place my elbows above her shoulders and begin to bear down on her, proceeding faster and faster. She touches herself, and then as things progress she grips my back and bites my chest. I am a machine, relentless. She squeezes her thighs, to hold me back, keep me from going deeper. I know she is at her limit. I rest my head on the bed, turned to the side so I can breathe and reach under her, grabbing her ass with both hands. When I thrust, I turn her hips and force her up into me, slamming our nether regions together. My pace is relentless and soon she has had too much and I hear her yell as she holds me tightly, as if she were afraid she would be carried away from me by the current of our passion. I slow and as she seems to finish I pick the pace back up to the rhythm I was at previously and bring her to another orgasm. I do this as long as I can hold out but soon I need a breather. I fall to my back and she moves and takes me into her mouth. As I catch my breath I smack her ass and flip her onto her side as I spoon her and enter her. We progress through several positions and save doggy for last.
We are mated and furiously pounding into each other. I grab, pull, and slap her ass and hips as I slam her round up-thrust rear. She pushes against the bed or the wall as she looks over her shoulder, we exchange taunts and insults, challenging each other and goading. I know my time is near and I push her forward, the top half of her body resting on the mattress. She knows how I want it, my favorite part, and she pulls her knees together as she lays on her stomach, only her hips elevated off the bed. Leaning forward I bite her ass cheeks, and lick into the “magic window” made by the convergence of her ass and thighs. Straddling her I lick my hand and stroke myself, wetting my tool as I line it up. Slowly leaning forward I enter her and begin thrusting, straddling her curved female form, rocking my hips and pounding her from behind. She presses into me and I deeply thrust every last inch into her, my heavy nuts slapping against her. I pound her mercilessly as I move from holding her waist and shoulder, to pulling her hair while my feet are planted on the bed while I bounce her deep onto me. I fall forward, all fours, still maintaining my violent deep and fast pace, my mouth planted on her neck and shoulder and I sink my teeth in. I know she is close. Her moaning starts to bring me over the edge. I grab her narrow waist with my palms on either side of her spine, as I hover above her on my knees. As I rock my hips downward into her, I press her into the mattress and bounce her up to be impaled on my long hard cock. Faster and faster I jackhammer, she screams as she clenches at anything to hold on to. I can’t hold back any longer, her orgasm triggering mine as I continue to thrust, I tense and begin to shoot deep into her. Our fervent violence whipping our juices into froth, we gradually begin to slow while coming down from the heights of climax. I rest on top of her, my half hard member still inside as we catch our breath. I roll over to my back, the thick half-hard cock making a slurping sound as it comes out. She gets up and goes to the bathroom to clean up. We play fight about whose juices left the wet spot on the bed, and who has to sleep in it. I strip the ring off and clean myself in the bathroom, drinking water and wiping the sweat off my body. We curl up together in the driest part of the bed, I nuzzle her neck and we enjoy each other’s scents and touch as we drift to sleep from pleasant exhaustion.
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Thursday, July 28, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Tell me a story!
I know my blogs are usually me rambling on and on..but this time its going to be a bit different. I want my readers to tell me about an amazing sexual experience they had...their favorite position...an awesome role playing event or anything else that they want to share!
I'll make a blog post out of the best ones and of course, give credit where credit is due..so be sure to sign your post how you want it to be on the blog. When you are ready, send it to me in an email at secretsquirrel201037@yahoo.com
I'm excited to read about your experiences and share them, so c'mon get to it!! :) I'll keep this open until the 29th of July and at that time I'll start working on the blog post..and including my best experience as well!
I'll make a blog post out of the best ones and of course, give credit where credit is due..so be sure to sign your post how you want it to be on the blog. When you are ready, send it to me in an email at secretsquirrel201037@yahoo.com
I'm excited to read about your experiences and share them, so c'mon get to it!! :) I'll keep this open until the 29th of July and at that time I'll start working on the blog post..and including my best experience as well!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
The art of the striptease
Okay, every man loves a strip tease and a lap dance. If they didn't there wouldn't be strip clubs in every state. So, how do you do a strip tease and/or lap dance that your man will love? Its simple actually, because lets be real about this, you're not a stripper and there isn't a pole in your bedroom that you're going to gyrate on. You're a real woman and your partner knows that, so he's not looking for a stellar performance. All you need to do is to let go of your self consciousness and embarassment and shake your ass like you were born to wiggle!
It will help if you practice in front of a mirror a time or two, just to see what moves look hot and what moves look...less hot. Also, remember to use your hair to tease him, especially if you have long hair..but don't whip your head back and forth until you're dizzy. Sounds like a no brainer, but sometimes you get caught up in the moment and things happen! lol
Wear something easy to slide off your body, not a lot of hooks or snaps. You want something that will glide off with minimal effort from you. Also, if you really want to add to the sexy factor, put on thigh high stockings and high heels. Keep them on during your whole naughty dance, and even during sex if you're feeling very frisky! A sexy chemise or teddy usually works well, its easy to get out of without any awkward movements. Slip the straps off one shoulder while you move your hips (music helps add to the mood, so I'd recommend you put on whatever you like). Then slip off the other strap and just hold your lingerie up by your hands on your breasts, turn around, look over your shoulder and let your lingerie slip to your waist. Trust me he'll be panting for you to turn back around and give him a glimpse of your breasts. You can play this out for a bit, teasing him...shaking your butt, wiggling and smiling. Then slowly turn around and as you move your hips side to side, push your lingerie down over your hips into a puddle at your feet.
Step out of the lingerie and do a very slow swagger over to your partner, straddling him and slowly sliding your naked body down to sit on his lap and now hard cock. Start rocking your hips to the music, swaying your body. By this point, he's going to be grabbing your ass and sucking on your tits and you'll have no doubt that your strip tease and lap dance was a hit!
Women often put too much pressure on themselves about their flaws or about doing something like a strip tease perfectly. Just throw caution to the wind and have fun with it. So what if your lingerie doesn't come off as smoothly as you want and you have to give it a tug, or if you have cellulite on your thighs...the point is, you're stepping out of your comfort zone, doing something new and exciting and he won't notice anything but what a sexy and hot woman he has!
Let me remind you that its okay to laugh during sex too. A giggle when something doesn't go right, or a full blown laugh when you bump heads or someone falls off the bed....sex doesn't always have to be this serious and intense moment. Sometimes its those goofy moments that lighten it up that allow for a more pleasurable experience ultimately.
Now for those women that still want to do a perfect lap dance or strip tease, there are "how to" videos you can buy that will guide you step by step, but I still say you don't need them. You don't have to break out a chair and do a Demi Moore worthy performance. All you have to do is feel sexy and it will show in your moves. I will recommend one thing...if you have a belly dancing class anywhere near you..GO! It is a lot of fun and it teaches you to enjoy the sensual movement of your body. Its also a good work out, and if you have some extra booty or belly then it works in your favor! The point is, belly dancing is erotic to watch and not that hard to learn. So, if you really want to wow him and have access to one then lucky you!
When it comes to our relationships we need to learn to just let go and enjoy ourselves. Stop worrying about all those negative thoughts in our head telling us we can't do it, or we'll look stupid, or our partner won't like it. Just do it. You are a sexual and sexy creature....and I'm sure your significant other think so too!! So step outside the box and enjoy the moment, enjoy your body and sexuality, enjoy being a woman! As always..Happy Fucking!!
All pics via Yany's EroticPics
It will help if you practice in front of a mirror a time or two, just to see what moves look hot and what moves look...less hot. Also, remember to use your hair to tease him, especially if you have long hair..but don't whip your head back and forth until you're dizzy. Sounds like a no brainer, but sometimes you get caught up in the moment and things happen! lol
Wear something easy to slide off your body, not a lot of hooks or snaps. You want something that will glide off with minimal effort from you. Also, if you really want to add to the sexy factor, put on thigh high stockings and high heels. Keep them on during your whole naughty dance, and even during sex if you're feeling very frisky! A sexy chemise or teddy usually works well, its easy to get out of without any awkward movements. Slip the straps off one shoulder while you move your hips (music helps add to the mood, so I'd recommend you put on whatever you like). Then slip off the other strap and just hold your lingerie up by your hands on your breasts, turn around, look over your shoulder and let your lingerie slip to your waist. Trust me he'll be panting for you to turn back around and give him a glimpse of your breasts. You can play this out for a bit, teasing him...shaking your butt, wiggling and smiling. Then slowly turn around and as you move your hips side to side, push your lingerie down over your hips into a puddle at your feet.
Step out of the lingerie and do a very slow swagger over to your partner, straddling him and slowly sliding your naked body down to sit on his lap and now hard cock. Start rocking your hips to the music, swaying your body. By this point, he's going to be grabbing your ass and sucking on your tits and you'll have no doubt that your strip tease and lap dance was a hit!
Women often put too much pressure on themselves about their flaws or about doing something like a strip tease perfectly. Just throw caution to the wind and have fun with it. So what if your lingerie doesn't come off as smoothly as you want and you have to give it a tug, or if you have cellulite on your thighs...the point is, you're stepping out of your comfort zone, doing something new and exciting and he won't notice anything but what a sexy and hot woman he has!
Let me remind you that its okay to laugh during sex too. A giggle when something doesn't go right, or a full blown laugh when you bump heads or someone falls off the bed....sex doesn't always have to be this serious and intense moment. Sometimes its those goofy moments that lighten it up that allow for a more pleasurable experience ultimately.
Now for those women that still want to do a perfect lap dance or strip tease, there are "how to" videos you can buy that will guide you step by step, but I still say you don't need them. You don't have to break out a chair and do a Demi Moore worthy performance. All you have to do is feel sexy and it will show in your moves. I will recommend one thing...if you have a belly dancing class anywhere near you..GO! It is a lot of fun and it teaches you to enjoy the sensual movement of your body. Its also a good work out, and if you have some extra booty or belly then it works in your favor! The point is, belly dancing is erotic to watch and not that hard to learn. So, if you really want to wow him and have access to one then lucky you!
When it comes to our relationships we need to learn to just let go and enjoy ourselves. Stop worrying about all those negative thoughts in our head telling us we can't do it, or we'll look stupid, or our partner won't like it. Just do it. You are a sexual and sexy creature....and I'm sure your significant other think so too!! So step outside the box and enjoy the moment, enjoy your body and sexuality, enjoy being a woman! As always..Happy Fucking!!
All pics via Yany's EroticPics
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Sexy Feet!
The love of feet may seem odd, but its a very common fantasy. Its also a fetish/fantasy that I think more women should embrace...because it can be a lot of fun for both partners!
Personally, I say...if you have a man with a foot fetish, then lucky you! You can get those weekly pedicures and buy those sexy shoes without a bit of guilty, because you are making your man happy! There is nothing as nice as laying back and getting a warm lotion foot rub from a man that adores your feet, his cock will be hard and that is the perfect opportunity to use your toes to give him a little manual satisfaction. Rub your soft, lotioned feet against his shaft, massaging the head with your toes...or catch him between the soles of your feet and stroke him. Use your feet on his chest, or let him kiss them or gently suck your toes if that is what he is craving. As long as your feet are clean, what does it matter?
Women are often turned off by a foot fetish. I think of all fetish's like this...is it hurting anyone? Is it illegal? Does it go against your moral values? If not...then what is it going to hurt to try it? Sometimes we judge too quickly and too harshly over something that our partner wants or needs from us sexually. I say that a lifetime with someone is going to require some compromise and a bit of open mindedness to keep your sex life going forward and not stalling and burning out. That means when your partner shares something with you..really take some time to think about it. You might find that you like something that you didn't think you would.
I once had a boyfriend that had a foot fetish. He loved to pamper my feet, and I loved to let him! He would buy me the cutest little toe rings and I knew that if I wanted to tease him in public and get fucked good and hard that night, all I had to do was take him to a shoe store and let him pick out shoes for me to try on. Later that night, he started kissing my feet but those kisses always moved up my legs and thighs before settling on my pussy so it was a win-win for both of us! It was also a lot of fun, to go out to eat and I'd kick off my shoes under the table and rest my foot in his crotch, wiggling my toes against him if I really wanted to get him fired up. A foot fetish lends itself easily to a lot of public play.
The foot fetish has actually been around for centuries. Early Japanese women would bind their feet to make them smaller and more dainty, this was one of the reasons why they walked with such tiny shuffling steps. Here in America it was scandalous to show your ankles or bare feet as it was said to drive men wild with lust. So, the fact that men today love sexy feet is really nothing new, its been happening for a very long time. I often think that must be the reason there are so many MALE designers of women's shoes. How many times have you read in various women's magazines about how to let your high heel dangle off one foot when you're legs are crossed as a way to visually seduce a man. I know you've read those articles, because I read one just last month! When that stiletto is dangling off your toes, swinging gently in the air, its catching male attention because of the delicate nature of a woman's ankle, the curve of her calf, the look of her soft foot and well manicured toes. Its a very FEMALE thing to have painted toenails, and to some men that just screams feminine sexiness. So a foot fetish may seem unusual, but really its not.
So, go get that pedicure...put on your sexiest open toed shoes and strut your stuff. Life is too short to keep your pretty toes hidden! Happy Fucking!
Pic via Yany's EroticPics
Personally, I say...if you have a man with a foot fetish, then lucky you! You can get those weekly pedicures and buy those sexy shoes without a bit of guilty, because you are making your man happy! There is nothing as nice as laying back and getting a warm lotion foot rub from a man that adores your feet, his cock will be hard and that is the perfect opportunity to use your toes to give him a little manual satisfaction. Rub your soft, lotioned feet against his shaft, massaging the head with your toes...or catch him between the soles of your feet and stroke him. Use your feet on his chest, or let him kiss them or gently suck your toes if that is what he is craving. As long as your feet are clean, what does it matter?
Women are often turned off by a foot fetish. I think of all fetish's like this...is it hurting anyone? Is it illegal? Does it go against your moral values? If not...then what is it going to hurt to try it? Sometimes we judge too quickly and too harshly over something that our partner wants or needs from us sexually. I say that a lifetime with someone is going to require some compromise and a bit of open mindedness to keep your sex life going forward and not stalling and burning out. That means when your partner shares something with you..really take some time to think about it. You might find that you like something that you didn't think you would.
I once had a boyfriend that had a foot fetish. He loved to pamper my feet, and I loved to let him! He would buy me the cutest little toe rings and I knew that if I wanted to tease him in public and get fucked good and hard that night, all I had to do was take him to a shoe store and let him pick out shoes for me to try on. Later that night, he started kissing my feet but those kisses always moved up my legs and thighs before settling on my pussy so it was a win-win for both of us! It was also a lot of fun, to go out to eat and I'd kick off my shoes under the table and rest my foot in his crotch, wiggling my toes against him if I really wanted to get him fired up. A foot fetish lends itself easily to a lot of public play.
The foot fetish has actually been around for centuries. Early Japanese women would bind their feet to make them smaller and more dainty, this was one of the reasons why they walked with such tiny shuffling steps. Here in America it was scandalous to show your ankles or bare feet as it was said to drive men wild with lust. So, the fact that men today love sexy feet is really nothing new, its been happening for a very long time. I often think that must be the reason there are so many MALE designers of women's shoes. How many times have you read in various women's magazines about how to let your high heel dangle off one foot when you're legs are crossed as a way to visually seduce a man. I know you've read those articles, because I read one just last month! When that stiletto is dangling off your toes, swinging gently in the air, its catching male attention because of the delicate nature of a woman's ankle, the curve of her calf, the look of her soft foot and well manicured toes. Its a very FEMALE thing to have painted toenails, and to some men that just screams feminine sexiness. So a foot fetish may seem unusual, but really its not.
So, go get that pedicure...put on your sexiest open toed shoes and strut your stuff. Life is too short to keep your pretty toes hidden! Happy Fucking!
Pic via Yany's EroticPics
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
High sex drive versus low sex drive
I've been asked by several people about someone with a high sex drive being married to someone with a low sex drive...they don't want to cheat, but they don't know what to do, because they are unhappy with their sex life.
This is a hard one and really my advice falls into two categories. One, what YOU can't help and what YOU can help. So first up, is what you can't help.
If your woman has had a baby in the last year. A low sex drive in these cases can stem from a hormonal imbalance. Hormones after a baby are all wonky..add that on top of the stress of being a new parent and sleepless nights and yeah, her sex drive is going to tank. But, within a year all should be back to normal..if its not, have her to talk her OB-GYN and get her hormone levels tested. Also, if your woman is on birth control and seems to have a low sex drive, it is again related to the hormones. There are other alternatives out there that are just as effective as the birth control pill, you might want to look into them.
If your woman is in her late 30's or early 40's then she may have something called peri-menopause. Her hormones are sputtering then surging and its causing her sex drive to be low. This is also another one that needs the intervention of a Doctor. She can get her hormones tested and see if her problem lies within that realm. If it does, she can work with her Doctor to rebalance her hormones and hopefully raise her sex drive.
If your woman is over 50 and has a low sex drive. This is probably related to menopause and the decrease in not only estrogen, but testosterone and progesterone in her body. This can cause even a very healthy sex drive to nose dive. She can talk to her GYN or she can consult a Naturopathic Doctor that deal in bio-identical hormone replacement. She can easily find one, by calling a compounding pharmacy in your area and asking them for the name of a Doctor that prescribes bio-identical hormones. These are typically traditional Doctors that have had additional training in bio-identical hormones and naturopathic medicine.
Now, if you are a woman and your man's sex drive has nose dived...he needs to see a Doctor and have his testosterone level checked. Testosterone is the sex hormone for men and when it is out of whack, so is their sex drive. Lots of things can cause it to drop, but it needs to be evaluated by a Doctor. Once is rebounds, usually so does his sex drive.
Okay, on to things that YOU can help with, other than just driving your significant other to the Doctor. Lets really look at the balance of your life. Do you and your wife both work full time? When you get home does she make dinner, help the kids with the homework and get them into bed while you sit on the sofa? Then do you expect her to turn into a porn star in the bedroom and get irritated and upset when she would rather sleep? Well, if that sounds like you then I say ...who would blame her?! If you want your wife to have a libido then you have to carry some of the weight around the house. Even if you work a full day and she stays home with the kids...you have no idea how much work goes into that. You have to realize that if your wife is stressed or angry or resentful then fucking you is the last thing on her list. Find out ways you can help, maybe help the kids with homework while she makes dinner...then put them to bed so she can have some time to take a shower or relax for a few and get into the mood.
Too often relationships are based on power. Who does more work..who has the upper hand..who has the control. This makes me sad, because a marriage should be about two people working together NOT about who makes more money or has the harder job. Honestly, if you want wife to have a better sex drive and you want to have more sex....then let go of that whole "I work harder than she does, so I don't have to help around the house" mentality and really try to jump in and help her. If she cooks, you can do the dishes. If she helps the kids with homework, then you can take control of bedtime. You are partners..so act like it. One person can't do it all, and the longer they try the more likely they are to pull away in other areas as their resentment grows. One of the biggest ways women retreat is sexually. Its often a sign of unexpressed anger. I would say the only recourse you have is to TALK to your woman and ask her if you can help her...what would make it easier for her to "get in the mood"...what does she actually NEED from you?
Communication goes a long, long, longggg way at not just giving you the sex life you want, but giving you the relationship you want. You just have to be able to ask the hard questions and hear the hard answers...but through doing that, you can grow as a couple. You can actually have sex instead of resentment and you can actually build a happy relationship where both of your needs and wants are met.
Relationships are never the same...from one couple to the next, people interact with each other in different ways. So, although its hard to give advice that fits everyone, the one thing that everyone can work on and benefit from is communication. You are grown adults..if you had an issue at work, you'd have a constructive talk with your boss, so why can't you have a constructive talk with your spouse or significant other? You CAN, you just have to do it. So, as always Happy Fucking!
This is a hard one and really my advice falls into two categories. One, what YOU can't help and what YOU can help. So first up, is what you can't help.
If your woman has had a baby in the last year. A low sex drive in these cases can stem from a hormonal imbalance. Hormones after a baby are all wonky..add that on top of the stress of being a new parent and sleepless nights and yeah, her sex drive is going to tank. But, within a year all should be back to normal..if its not, have her to talk her OB-GYN and get her hormone levels tested. Also, if your woman is on birth control and seems to have a low sex drive, it is again related to the hormones. There are other alternatives out there that are just as effective as the birth control pill, you might want to look into them.
If your woman is in her late 30's or early 40's then she may have something called peri-menopause. Her hormones are sputtering then surging and its causing her sex drive to be low. This is also another one that needs the intervention of a Doctor. She can get her hormones tested and see if her problem lies within that realm. If it does, she can work with her Doctor to rebalance her hormones and hopefully raise her sex drive.
If your woman is over 50 and has a low sex drive. This is probably related to menopause and the decrease in not only estrogen, but testosterone and progesterone in her body. This can cause even a very healthy sex drive to nose dive. She can talk to her GYN or she can consult a Naturopathic Doctor that deal in bio-identical hormone replacement. She can easily find one, by calling a compounding pharmacy in your area and asking them for the name of a Doctor that prescribes bio-identical hormones. These are typically traditional Doctors that have had additional training in bio-identical hormones and naturopathic medicine.
Now, if you are a woman and your man's sex drive has nose dived...he needs to see a Doctor and have his testosterone level checked. Testosterone is the sex hormone for men and when it is out of whack, so is their sex drive. Lots of things can cause it to drop, but it needs to be evaluated by a Doctor. Once is rebounds, usually so does his sex drive.
Okay, on to things that YOU can help with, other than just driving your significant other to the Doctor. Lets really look at the balance of your life. Do you and your wife both work full time? When you get home does she make dinner, help the kids with the homework and get them into bed while you sit on the sofa? Then do you expect her to turn into a porn star in the bedroom and get irritated and upset when she would rather sleep? Well, if that sounds like you then I say ...who would blame her?! If you want your wife to have a libido then you have to carry some of the weight around the house. Even if you work a full day and she stays home with the kids...you have no idea how much work goes into that. You have to realize that if your wife is stressed or angry or resentful then fucking you is the last thing on her list. Find out ways you can help, maybe help the kids with homework while she makes dinner...then put them to bed so she can have some time to take a shower or relax for a few and get into the mood.
Too often relationships are based on power. Who does more work..who has the upper hand..who has the control. This makes me sad, because a marriage should be about two people working together NOT about who makes more money or has the harder job. Honestly, if you want wife to have a better sex drive and you want to have more sex....then let go of that whole "I work harder than she does, so I don't have to help around the house" mentality and really try to jump in and help her. If she cooks, you can do the dishes. If she helps the kids with homework, then you can take control of bedtime. You are partners..so act like it. One person can't do it all, and the longer they try the more likely they are to pull away in other areas as their resentment grows. One of the biggest ways women retreat is sexually. Its often a sign of unexpressed anger. I would say the only recourse you have is to TALK to your woman and ask her if you can help her...what would make it easier for her to "get in the mood"...what does she actually NEED from you?
Communication goes a long, long, longggg way at not just giving you the sex life you want, but giving you the relationship you want. You just have to be able to ask the hard questions and hear the hard answers...but through doing that, you can grow as a couple. You can actually have sex instead of resentment and you can actually build a happy relationship where both of your needs and wants are met.
Relationships are never the same...from one couple to the next, people interact with each other in different ways. So, although its hard to give advice that fits everyone, the one thing that everyone can work on and benefit from is communication. You are grown adults..if you had an issue at work, you'd have a constructive talk with your boss, so why can't you have a constructive talk with your spouse or significant other? You CAN, you just have to do it. So, as always Happy Fucking!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Sexting..is it a deal breaker?
I've been asked to do a blog about sexting and my thoughts on it...so here it is.
I think in this day and age, technology makes it so easy to communicate on the sly with people of the opposite sex. In addition, because of the "disconnect" that is provided by a computer/cell phone people often open up faster and say things that they typically wouldn't if they were standing face to face with someone. This has lead to the sexting issue that we see a lot of people dealing with..no one is immune, actresses, football players and politicians have all been caught up in sexting scandals lately.
So, I was asked if I felt sexting was cheating. I have to say...that what I think about it is irrelevant, its what YOUR partner thinks about it that really matters. Now, I know that men are able to look at sexting as simply interactive porn. Not really looking for it to become anything more than it is...naughty flirtatious fun. However, women see it as an emotional affair..you are talking and sharing with another woman instead of her. She will often feel very betrayed whether or not you have ever been physically unfaithful.
I however, do not think you should ever get divorced over sexting. I think what should happen is yousit down with your partner and talk about WHY they feel the need to interact with other people in this manner. Sexting is a symptom of a bigger problem. Typically an unsatisfactory sex life. The only way to resolve the problem is through communicating with your partner. Sometimes you might find out that they just need the ego boost of knowing someone finds them attractive. Sometimes it might be that they have a secret fetish or fantasy that they don't feel they can share with you for fear of judgement. Or, they may actually be looking for someone to fill an emotional void that they perceive is in the relationship...and that will be the hardest one for your partner to deal with.
When it comes to sexting, telling your partner that "Everyone does it" isn't going to cut it. They are going to be mad as hell..and hurt. So, stop and think about how you'd feel if you found your partner sexting with someone. This is one of those times you need to think about the shoe being on the other foot, because it very easily could be....would you be okay with your partner talking sex and sending naked pics to someone else. If not, then chances are, they won't be okay with you doing it either. So, instead of risking the obvious blow up that will ensue when you are caught...take some time and really try to figure out what is driving you to do it. Then talk to your partner about how to resolve that issue.
I know I harp on communication, but it is vitally important in a relationship. If you find you can't talk to your partner..or if they are unwilling to listen, then I have to wonder if its a relationship worth having. However, you might be surprised..to find that your partner not only listens, but has a few thoughts of their own to add and by talking you can save yourself and your partner a lot of pain and frustration. If you find it so easy to talk to a stranger using your cell phone then use that same medium (cell/computer) to talk to your partner. Try making them your sexting buddy...your wife might just be happy to surprise you with a few naughty texts during the day. Or your hubby might think its hot to send you a pic of his hard cock and tell you how he plans on fucking you when he gets home. The point is..you can use sexting to tear your relationship apart or to build it up..the choice is yours.
I don't think sexting is going to go away. Its not a passing fad, its becoming integrated into our social culture and we are dealing with it the best we can. I say that in the grand scheme of things...no its not an actual affair, but there are elements of an affair to it. The secrecy, the sharing, the lying are all a part of it, and its those things that will damage your relationship..even if you have never been physical with the person. If you are sexting or you have caught your partner sexting...stop screaming at them for a minute and ask them WHY? They may have an answer that you don't want to hear, but that you NEED to hear. Because, once you know what the problem is..you can take steps to fix it. If you bury your head in the sand or just demand it stops without ever probing any deeper into why it happened, then it will absolutely happen again.
So, I say if you are in a relationship...as always, COMMUNICATE with your partner. If you have to sext someone, try sexting them. And, if you are currently sexting someone else...look at your current relationship and what you are missing out of it. Plus, I have to say that real sex is always more fun than sexting..so remember Happy Fucking!
I think in this day and age, technology makes it so easy to communicate on the sly with people of the opposite sex. In addition, because of the "disconnect" that is provided by a computer/cell phone people often open up faster and say things that they typically wouldn't if they were standing face to face with someone. This has lead to the sexting issue that we see a lot of people dealing with..no one is immune, actresses, football players and politicians have all been caught up in sexting scandals lately.
So, I was asked if I felt sexting was cheating. I have to say...that what I think about it is irrelevant, its what YOUR partner thinks about it that really matters. Now, I know that men are able to look at sexting as simply interactive porn. Not really looking for it to become anything more than it is...naughty flirtatious fun. However, women see it as an emotional affair..you are talking and sharing with another woman instead of her. She will often feel very betrayed whether or not you have ever been physically unfaithful.
I however, do not think you should ever get divorced over sexting. I think what should happen is yousit down with your partner and talk about WHY they feel the need to interact with other people in this manner. Sexting is a symptom of a bigger problem. Typically an unsatisfactory sex life. The only way to resolve the problem is through communicating with your partner. Sometimes you might find out that they just need the ego boost of knowing someone finds them attractive. Sometimes it might be that they have a secret fetish or fantasy that they don't feel they can share with you for fear of judgement. Or, they may actually be looking for someone to fill an emotional void that they perceive is in the relationship...and that will be the hardest one for your partner to deal with.
When it comes to sexting, telling your partner that "Everyone does it" isn't going to cut it. They are going to be mad as hell..and hurt. So, stop and think about how you'd feel if you found your partner sexting with someone. This is one of those times you need to think about the shoe being on the other foot, because it very easily could be....would you be okay with your partner talking sex and sending naked pics to someone else. If not, then chances are, they won't be okay with you doing it either. So, instead of risking the obvious blow up that will ensue when you are caught...take some time and really try to figure out what is driving you to do it. Then talk to your partner about how to resolve that issue.
I know I harp on communication, but it is vitally important in a relationship. If you find you can't talk to your partner..or if they are unwilling to listen, then I have to wonder if its a relationship worth having. However, you might be surprised..to find that your partner not only listens, but has a few thoughts of their own to add and by talking you can save yourself and your partner a lot of pain and frustration. If you find it so easy to talk to a stranger using your cell phone then use that same medium (cell/computer) to talk to your partner. Try making them your sexting buddy...your wife might just be happy to surprise you with a few naughty texts during the day. Or your hubby might think its hot to send you a pic of his hard cock and tell you how he plans on fucking you when he gets home. The point is..you can use sexting to tear your relationship apart or to build it up..the choice is yours.
I don't think sexting is going to go away. Its not a passing fad, its becoming integrated into our social culture and we are dealing with it the best we can. I say that in the grand scheme of things...no its not an actual affair, but there are elements of an affair to it. The secrecy, the sharing, the lying are all a part of it, and its those things that will damage your relationship..even if you have never been physical with the person. If you are sexting or you have caught your partner sexting...stop screaming at them for a minute and ask them WHY? They may have an answer that you don't want to hear, but that you NEED to hear. Because, once you know what the problem is..you can take steps to fix it. If you bury your head in the sand or just demand it stops without ever probing any deeper into why it happened, then it will absolutely happen again.
So, I say if you are in a relationship...as always, COMMUNICATE with your partner. If you have to sext someone, try sexting them. And, if you are currently sexting someone else...look at your current relationship and what you are missing out of it. Plus, I have to say that real sex is always more fun than sexting..so remember Happy Fucking!
Masturbation..YESS!!!
Here is one of my earliest posts...for anyone that hasn't seen it, I hope you like it. For those who read it before well, I hope you like reading it again :)
I love to masturbate and I'm not afraid to say it!! For some reason, women often want to deny they touch themselves. I have no idea why they feel that is a bad thing...its your body, TOUCH IT!! In my book, its better than sliced bread, I can do it anytime I want, I can do it anywhere I want ...within reason..I know exactly how to make myself cum, and I can make it last as long or as short as I want. Now, granted, its more fun with a partner...but masturbation is sometimes just more convenient and readily available!
If you're a guy and your woman lets you watch her masturbate, then she has just given you the playbook to her orgasm!! PAY ATTENTION!! She is showing you how she likes to be touched, she is showing you how she cums best. If you want to be a lover that rocks her world and makes her scream your name then watch how she masturbates.
Masturbation can be done with just fingers or with the vibrator of your choice. They range from fingertip versions right on up to latex behemoths that are cast from the dicks of porn stars. Yikes! Personally, I prefer just my fingers...no batteries to go bad. No buzzing noise to annoy me. That isn't to say there isn't a place for toys, those are fun too and I'll do another post on just toys..but for me fingers are the most pleasureable and effective means to an end.
Women often masturbate to much different things than men masturbate too. Women masturbate to fantasies while men are more visually driven. Which is also a reason women need more foreplay...we need the whisper and touches, we need more interaction before we start. This is a point when mutual masturbation can be very pleasurable. Where you can touch each other, or yourselves while your partner watches. This is the point where as a man, you can also show your woman how you like to be stroked. Life is full of lessons..consider mutual masturbation a lesson that you definitely want to memorize and use again over and over in the future!
So, if you are a woman and you aren't touching yourself..try it. Life is too short not to know your body and get the pleasure you deserve out of sex!
I love to masturbate and I'm not afraid to say it!! For some reason, women often want to deny they touch themselves. I have no idea why they feel that is a bad thing...its your body, TOUCH IT!! In my book, its better than sliced bread, I can do it anytime I want, I can do it anywhere I want ...within reason..I know exactly how to make myself cum, and I can make it last as long or as short as I want. Now, granted, its more fun with a partner...but masturbation is sometimes just more convenient and readily available!
If you're a guy and your woman lets you watch her masturbate, then she has just given you the playbook to her orgasm!! PAY ATTENTION!! She is showing you how she likes to be touched, she is showing you how she cums best. If you want to be a lover that rocks her world and makes her scream your name then watch how she masturbates.
Masturbation can be done with just fingers or with the vibrator of your choice. They range from fingertip versions right on up to latex behemoths that are cast from the dicks of porn stars. Yikes! Personally, I prefer just my fingers...no batteries to go bad. No buzzing noise to annoy me. That isn't to say there isn't a place for toys, those are fun too and I'll do another post on just toys..but for me fingers are the most pleasureable and effective means to an end.
Women often masturbate to much different things than men masturbate too. Women masturbate to fantasies while men are more visually driven. Which is also a reason women need more foreplay...we need the whisper and touches, we need more interaction before we start. This is a point when mutual masturbation can be very pleasurable. Where you can touch each other, or yourselves while your partner watches. This is the point where as a man, you can also show your woman how you like to be stroked. Life is full of lessons..consider mutual masturbation a lesson that you definitely want to memorize and use again over and over in the future!
So, if you are a woman and you aren't touching yourself..try it. Life is too short not to know your body and get the pleasure you deserve out of sex!
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